Category: Writers Block
As the man walked into the room to see the young man with his pants half up he began screaming " What the hell is going on in my house Alyssa, What the hell were you thinking you tramp!" "Daddy I swear nothing really happened" He walked overto his tearfuul daughter and slapped her. "Boy, oyu better get your ass out of my house." He turn back around to see his daughter cowering on the floor, "How dare you, how dare you even think you can bring anyone over to my house." Dad I.." "shutup, if I wanted to hear anything out of a whore I would go and buy a cheap hooker" I don't ever want to see your face again you digrace me, Sometimes I wish you were never born." Daddy, I am sorry" "Get the hell oout of my house whore" She stared at him lip trembling, she knew many secrets about her father llike the fact her father drinks and drives he is a raging achoholic, and he also does haroine. She was heart broken the only person that ever cared about her was chased out of her life by the one man she hated more thab life itself. She walked in to the bathroom her father went in the livving room to have a beer and watch some tv. She was in the bathroom crying over what she had done she was a disgrace to herself and nothing could help her emptyness now. She looked up in the medicine cabnit to see what she could take for a head ache saw some of her fathers medications for sleeping and filled a cup of water up and took every last one. THe she went in her room put on her black dress that she wore to her mother's funeral and laid in her bed. Within the hour she was dead.
WOW kinda disterbing. Is this storie true?
no it is actually the sequal to my first on that is writtter's block it is called silk and this one is silk seequal I hope you guys like them
You know how to convey emotion well written..bravo!
Woe! now that's a seaqual!
Nice job there phantom!
Hey I am glad you all like
Kepp going I really want to hear what you think about silk
You could let the reader in by outlining the reasons for Dad's drinking and abusive behaviour, or they may lose all patience with him, before reaching the climax..I feel the story is very clear cut ..a little mystery helps to keep the reader hooked ..they adore pretending to be detectives,or psychologists...Also you could inject some of Dad's feelings after he has been abusive does he feel anything at all...many readers would like to believe he's not a complete monster..but on the whole it's a very powerful story with a lot of promise..
Well now, well-written and damn good.
I think I did a good job it is really sad though
very sad
to be a writer you must be able to accept and learn from a critique, otherwise you will never develop and improve
I think I did alright though what do you think goblin and aragorn
I gave you my opinion which you chose to ignore..if you want to be a writer you had better learn to accept and learn from criticism instead of asking us to agree when we may not...because the publishers wont and neither will the public.
I am except ing cristasism
no you are asking me to tug my forelock and agree with your opinion ..as a writer and a free thinker, I refuse to do so,I can't imagine why you assumed I would stroke your ego.
well this is the reality, when you write, there are some who will like what you write, and some who won't. Just because goblin gives an opinion doesn't mean that what he says is right and what you say are wrong, goblin may not like what you've written, but equally some people might like it. i personally have read one or two paragraphs of what goblin has written on writer's block and found it to be sick and very deeply disturbing, and if I was a publisher, I wouldn't go anywhere near it, everyone has different taste though, even if you get turned down by a hundred publishers, one might accept you, so .. take on board the bad criticism, but equally take on board the good criticism.
okay
Well, this is truly sad, but the writing is still good in my opinion.
Also, I see that there is a bit of some snippiness going on here. Is it truly needed. Can't one express an opinion and not be so, how shall we say, snippy? Accepting criticism is something we all should do, but on the same token, respecting others for that opinion should be done also.
But, for the most part, this is damn good in my opinion, and I for one would like to see more of it.
Aragorn my feelings exactly ...
Good writings of this nature are truly hard to come by. Most authors that I've come across with writings such as this, truly cannot explain what they are attempting to convey, and those that do, or can, go into way to much explanation of thigs. This however, converys to me just enough for my understanding and makes me want to read more and continue further with it.
thanks aragorn
Hey P G love the story